Making friends is one of the most exciting parts of student life, especially for those entering university or college for the first time. However, many students unknowingly make mistakes that lead to fake friendships, stress, or disappointment.
Understanding the common mistakes students make when making friends can help you build healthier, more genuine relationships that last beyond campus.
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Trying Too Hard to Fit In
One of the biggest mistakes students make is changing themselves just to be accepted.
Why it’s a problem:
- It attracts people who like the version you’re pretending to be
- It leads to exhaustion and loss of identity
- It creates shallow friendships
Be yourself. The right friends will appreciate you for who you truly are.
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Ignoring Red Flags Early
Many students notice warning signs but choose to ignore them to avoid loneliness.
Common red flags include:
- Disrespect
- Gossiping about others
- Constant negativity
- Manipulative behaviour
Ignoring red flags often leads to toxic friendships.
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Confusing Popularity With Friendship
Having many contacts does not mean you have real friends.
Mistake students make:
- Chasing popularity
- Valuing social media clout
- Focusing on being “known” instead of being understood
True friendships are built on trust, not numbers.
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Over-Sharing Personal Information Too Soon
Trust takes time.
Sharing deep personal details too early can:
- Make you vulnerable to gossip
- Be used against you
- Create uncomfortable situations
Let friendships grow naturally before opening up fully.
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Choosing Friends Based on Convenience
Some friendships exist only because:
- You share a class
- You live in the same hostel
- You need academic help
When convenience ends, the friendship often fades.
Choose friends who connect with you beyond circumstances.
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Allowing Peer Pressure to Control Decisions
Many students lose themselves trying to please friends.
Examples include:
- Skipping classes
- Spending beyond your means
- Engaging in risky behaviour
A real friend respects your choices and boundaries.
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Failing to Set Boundaries
Healthy friendships require boundaries.
Mistakes include:
- Always being available
- Lending money without limits
- Accepting disrespect
Boundaries protect your peace and self-worth.
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Staying in Toxic Friendships Out of Fear of Being Alone
Fear of loneliness keeps many students trapped in unhealthy friendships.
Remember:
- Being alone is better than being mistreated
- Quality matters more than company
Walking away is a sign of growth, not weakness.
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Expecting Instant Loyalty
Friendship is built over time.
Mistake:
- Expecting people to be loyal immediately
- Feeling betrayed too quickly
Trust and loyalty develop gradually through consistency.
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Not Being a Good Friend Yourself
Friendship is a two-way street.
Common mistakes:
- Only reaching out when you need help
- Not listening
- Failing to support others
To attract good friends, be one.
How to Avoid These Mistakes
- Be authentic
- Observe before trusting
- Choose values over popularity
- Set clear boundaries
- Be patient with relationships
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